AT HOME

I must admit, I love being home. I've dreamed of staying home since I started 20 years ago with the federal government and was a relief veterinarian, Home to me, means reading, means walking, means cooking, means photography, means playing and jostling with the kitties. I do like keeping busy and plan to volunteer with various centers for animals and having my practice and I do tote mom around to her doctor's appointments whether or not I think she should go. Let me repeat: whether or not she should go. My mom is in her 90s and there are times she feels the need to see a dermatologist because she is afraid of the "bugs" in my house which are really just her imagination or perhaps a dermatosis brought on by her diabetes,confirmed by the dermatologist by the way. She has no bugs. she is depressed by staying at home. She won't go walking with me, she won't go to the Senior Center, she won't make new friends. Whether or nor it is because she is in her 90s and refuses to be nice, or whether it is she doesn't trust people,I am uncertain. But I do know that she is not physically sick.She is depressed. I on the other hand love being at home. I love going out because I want to. I love not living in hotels.I love being able to have lunch with friends whenever I want to. It is a time for me to grow, and would be a time for mom to grow if she would relax and let it grow. Mom is just afraid and that is not what being at home is all about. It takes a special person to stay at home.One who knows fear and has faced it over and over and not given into it.I pray mom gets her bravery back. I pray I never lose my bravery.