Once Again

It's so marvelous to see good dancing on stage. When I grew up in New Orleans and later went to college there I doubt there were many performances I missed. My mom started me out, so I have her to thank for introducing me to the excitement and exhilaration of a live performance. It was Swan Lake with Rudolph Nureyev and Margot Fontaine. Fabulous, Fabulour, Fabulous,There;s nothing like seeing a live performance. The fun, the exhilaration, the applause. I have seen innumerable movies and their stage counterparts. There is nothing to compare. It's probably the realization that the dance, the acting etc is being done without interruption, without having to do a retake. The energy, the brilliance of a great performance cannot be fathomed. So glad for people's talent always and their God given gifts. What a blessing!!!

HOME AGAIN

What does it mean to go home? It's fun. It's nostalgic. Sometimes it's bittersweet. Sometimes it's full of sad memories, sometimes happy memories that make sad parts not so hard to swallow. For me it's all of these. For the first time I going back I have no parents to hug and hang out with, no brother to talk theater with. At the same time my great niece, 2 years old this fall is just beginning her life and it's exciting to think of a new life like that grow and visualize and explore. She brings such joy into my brother's and sister-in-law's lives, not to mention her mom and dad;s, my niece and her husband. Life isn't easy by any stretch but her smile makes it wonderful.

FROM OUT OF NOWHERE

And so from out of nowhere I am hit by grief. From out of nowhere, I feel guilt. Was mom right, I can't do anything right? Did I do what I needed to do for her? Did I really help her by having her live with me? And waves upon waves pound against the shore. God is here with me, looming larger than the rock of Gibralter. God tells me over and over, He will never foresake me. Why do the waves of depression overcome me? I know it's human, and that God gives me the strength to hold fast but I still feel overwhelmed and still rely on other things to pull me through. I have to grow in Him. I have to realize that my faith is built on nothing less than Him and His Son.Now I just need to incorporate that into my being, like a Yogi does with meditation.