Family

It was the second month since mom passed. On the 19th of Novemeber, there was a bit of a cloud over me. No apparent reason. Just a cloud. And then I remembered the date. And I got gloomier because there is a finality in this. Mom's not coming back. She's not visiting with Brian or going on a trip with her AARP group. She;s not coming back. At the Thanksgiving celebration something was missing. She's not coming back. I look at an empty bed. She's not coming back. I think that is what is staying in my mind as if to prove to my soul that she's actually gone because quite frankly I can't believe it. And what hurts is that many of my family have been in that situation of not coming back. Over the past 27 years I've lost people that I loved and were family. And bits and pieces are missing because those guys won't come back. And what lives on is memory. Bittersweet memory. I am grateful for the family that was given to me, to make such pleasant memories. And I am also sad that those who are gone are not coming back.

Veterans' Day

Here it is another Veterans' Day. I praise God for those who served and serve and keep us for the most safe. I am mortified by those who choose to make a huge deal over standing and kneeling and other actions during the playing of the National Anthem but are really meaning to protest the treatment of blacks by the police. Folks, that's not the proper venue. Not at all to protest the police brutality. It is the venue to say that while we have our racial and social issues as a country we are free. there will always be discrimination, and race-hatred and gender hatred, but the flag symbolizes that this country at least in theory is a country that grows and learns from its mistakes and has come a long way. I love my country. And if someone wants to say that this person was a bigot or that person fondled them or whatever well I am sorry but because of the the constitution those guys are allowed here too. Are you going to tear down all the laws of freedom just so that you can be treated fairly. The law is set to treat all fairly. Some things happen that fall through the cracks but it essentially works. Remember our country is not perfect. But it is God given.

I love animals. Of all sorts. It's the sole reason I became a veterinarian. The dean of the vet school I attended said I needed to have a better reason. Not sure what he meant by that, I suppose he meant that I needed a purpose for being a veterinarian. And when he asked me again why I wanted to be a veterinarian I repeated I love animals. Inclusive in that is that I want to care for them.

God loves me. For no other reason than He just does. I am awkward for sure. Just listen to me play the piano and you'll see that. As such many of my professors just weren't thrilled with the way I performed tasks.Unless it was in the lab, then I was fairly proficient in preparing slides and identifying organisms. But that lack of skill never ever makes me feel as though God doesn't love me. He loves me always. And that is His promise to all of us. Mother was of Juliard quality as a pianist. My brother was brilliant. And God loved them both although they never truly acknowledged Him.

My God may I never forget You are in control.